Friday, February 10, 2006

What's the secret of good comedy?


Defense Spending approaching Cold War high

Does anyone seriously believe that this money is needed is to fight The Muslim Threat To The West?

1. All this week, we've been subjected to the carefully-cultivated cartoon controversy. That Arab Street has not been looking good on TV, has it?

2. In the midst of it all, we had the alleged discovery of Particles of Mass Destruction, somewhere very important. TV reported. Men in expensive suits were evacuated. Tests were carried out. What were the results, though? And where did it happen? In Congress*? Somewhere else? Can anyone remember? What happened to that front-page story? What was it for?

3. Yesterday, we had Bush's urgent (LATEST BREAKING NEWS) live TELEVISED non-revelation of purportedly terrifying non-news about the alleged foiling of an alleged plot to destroy the Library Tower with a bomb in a shoe in a plane in 2003.

So it would appear that everything is going according to plan. But what, exactly, is the plan? And who, exactly, is the US at war with? Because after all: there is no one with an ounce of sanity who really believes there is a serious Muslim Threat To The West.

Is there?

* It was the Capitol building. And guess what? The tests proved negative. So we can all breathe easily, including the Senators who have just renewed the Patriot Act.


  1. Don't ask with what goal they spend 500 billion dollar on defense, handing over 500 billion to defense contractors is the goal.

  2. Oh wait, I could have told you that à la manière de Žižek...

    'A clever smuggler came to the border with a donkey. The donkey's back was heavily laden with straw. The official at the border was suspicious and pulled apart the man's bundles till there was straw all around, but not a valuable thing in the straw was found. "But I'm certain you're smuggling something," the official said, as the man crossed the border.

    Now each day for ten years the man came to the border with a donkey. Although the official searched and searched the straw bundles on the donkey's back, he never could find anything valuable hidden in them.

    Many years later, after the official had retired, he happened to meet that same smuggler in a marketplace and said, "Please tell me, I beg you. Tell me, what were you smuggling? Tell me, if you can."

    "Donkeys," said the man.'

  3. Ah, I've only ever heard it with wheelbarrows.

    (I prefer donkeys because he's even more dopey for not noticing it's not the same donkey.)